Submission

Submission, Not Subjection

This blog is part six of a ten-part series on the church.

What do you think about when you hear the word, “submission?” Most people jump right to wives submitting to their husbands.  Unfortunately, most Christian literature and sermons only address this single biblical aspect and neglect the rest. I hope to take this topic a bit deeper today, and it may surprise you. It will also probably be the longest blog in the series because it is an essential topic that is rarely fully discussed!

Since we are discussing the body and different forms of leadership, we will also consider Ephesians 5:22-33. This passage uses marriage to describe how things are between Christ and the church.

Submit to Messiah

The whole church must submit to Messiah because he is the head of the church and savior of the body. He sanctified, cleansed, and fed her with his words (teachings); for the purpose of making her glorious with no blemishes.

The word “head” not only implies a ruler or lord but a cornerstone uniting two walls. https://biblehub.com/greek/2776.htm Jesus and husbands alike unite two walls and should make the building stronger than if each wall stood on its own.

Jesus’ Example

Jesus cares for the church and meets it’s needs and we must submit to him, which is not difficult because he laid down his life for us and demonstrated his sacrificial love toward us. He was a servant to his people. He thought of us first, and not himself. And in this same way, husbands are to love their wives.

Jesus chose to sacrifice his life for ours. He not only did this literally when he was crucified, but he did it each day of his life when he made the hard choice not to give in to temptation and to sin. The life he lived was a sacrifice, not only the life he gave up when he was murdered, which the Father accepted as a judicial sacrifice and payment on our behalf.

When we submit, we humble ourselves and joyfully choose to trust him. It is a blessing, not a curse, and we do it eagerly, not with reluctance (at least we should!)

Willingly Submit

Jesus humbled himself and washed feet, as well as submitting himself to the cross. He chose to lay his life down for us. We are told to submit to each other out of reverence to Messiah, both men and women (Ephesians 5:21) and to submit, or yield, to authority (Hebrews 13:17).

To submit means to give away without resistance, to surrender yourself. Submitting one to another means that we willingly put other’s needs before our own. Submission is not meant to be oppressive, and it is our choice, not forced subjection. On both sides it is the highest form of love for another being. It even says in John 15:13 that there is no greater love than one who lays his life down for his friends. Rarely, this may be literal, but daily it will simple self-sacrifice, putting others needs or desires before your own, again, in regards to the one submitting and the one being submitted to.

When we submit to Christ, we declare that we trust him and are willing to obey (which is not difficult because we trust he has our best interests in mind and he was willing to sacrifice himself for us.)

Obedience & Submission are a Choice

The word “obey” is again a choice and connotates persuasion and having confidence in (https://biblehub.com/greek/3982.htm). It is choosing to be allied with or binding oneself to the one you are choosing to obey.

So, if you are in a ruling position, you certainly should work to be a person others would choose to be allied with. We have a choice as to if we will submit or not, men and women, and we must choose wisely as to whom we will bind ourselves.

Submission in Marriage

The same points about submission are made about marriage; and seeing Jesus’ example, it makes known the great responsibility husbands have to actively love their wives JUST AS Christ loved the church, self-sacrificing and willing to lay down his needs and desires for his wives needs and desires.

He must be a spiritual leader feeding his wife not only with Christ’s words, but his own as Christ did. His own words must feed her and help make her be glorious and blameless, not discourage or humiliate her. His words must build her up, not tear her down. He must provide for her needs and feed her. He must love and care for her as he does his own body. I don’t know why we don’t hear this message preached or books written on this subject. This is where submission begins!

Wives Submit

Likewise, wives should submit to husbands as they do to Christ. But don’t forget, men and women both must submit to Christ equally, and we are told to submit to each other. These commands are no less than the command for a wife to submit to her husband. It isn’t just about wives submitting to husbands, but that too should be done. A wife chooses to willingly surrender her will to her husband just as her husband chooses to surrender his will to Christ, and all Christians submit one to another.

It starts from the head and the head must first submit, as Jesus did to his Father. Submission does not begin with the one choosing to submit. If the husband has truly submitted to Christ, what woman would not be willing to submit herself to her husband if he was treating her like Christ did the church, and showing honor to her and loving her in such a great way?! Most people would gladly submit themselves to someone who was willing to sacrifice their own life and desires for them.

Submission is not Subjection

True submission cannot be forced; it is done willingly. Submission is not subjection, which is forced submission and is oppressive. The marriage relationship is not meant to be oppressive as a master or ruler over a slave, but is for the greater good, more like a lover caring for his beloved, again, as Christ did and does for the church.

Imagine a couple doing ballroom dancing. Both dance and both partners are just as important to make the dance successful; but, only one can lead or it would be disastrous. The leader is not greater than the one he is leading; it is just a different role to help make the dance beautiful. When done properly, both dancers look good and feel good about their performance. It is a team effort, and as they say, it takes two to tango.

Authority Comes with Great Responsibility

Authority was given to Christ and authority is given to husbands. But, with authority comes great responsibility! Christ gave up his life for the benefit of his bride, and a husband ought to do the same.

Just as a man and woman leave their families to become one flesh, the church leaves the world to become one flesh with Christ! (The verse says, “This mystery is great—but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”)

Again, the point of this passage was to understand Christ and the church, “nevertheless, each one must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33, Colossians 3:18-19)

Husbands, Love Your Wives

Even though husbands are to respect their wives and wives are to love their husbands, perhaps the emphasis on men loving their wives and women respecting their husbands is because each of these is not only what the other desires but what is hardest for each one to do. (The word for love here is from “agape” which is unconditional love that cares for the wellbeing of another, it is a choice. It is not sexual or merely friendly emotional love. Respect is fear that proceeds from love, or reverence.) Many men are self-centered and many women fear giving such power to another individual. To obey this command, both must trust the other, and ultimately God, that their needs and desires will be met. 

Marriage Mirrors Christ & the Church

Marriage should mirror Christ and the church, that is, the love of Christ for his church, and the willingness to submit to Christ. We can learn how to be better husbands and wives when we study the church’s relationship to Christ and Christ to the church. And if we want a healthy church, it must start in the life of the believer and in Christian homes.

Silent in the Church?

In regards to women, I will also mention 1 Corinthians 14:33 compared to 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, but will not delve into the details since this has been addressed adequately by many others. The two passages cannot contradict each other, nor go against the fact that all gifts were given to all people (since they were not differentiated as to some to men and some to women, or none to women.) So, women cannot be silent, that is not speak, when the church gathers. In fact, we are told that everyone (not excluding women), is to come with something to share.

If to look at the context of 1 Corinthians 14, the issue at hand, and not only women speaking, but tongue speakers and prophets as well, was an issue of disorder. The church lacked order and Paul was helping solve their problems.

Can Women Teach in the Church?

Another text many have difficulty with is 1 Timothy 2:11-12. As with any teaching, we must weigh it with the rest of Scripture and know that any one verse cannot contradict other verses.

“A woman must learn quietly with all submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man. She must remain quiet.”

3 Points: Be Calm

There are three points here to address. We will start with the last one about women keeping quiet or being silent. This word does not mean speechlessness. It is stillness, implying a God-produced calm for the believer, inner tranquility that supports appropriate action. https://biblehub.com/greek/2271.htm  A woman should have this calmness in her, not getting herself worked up because she has been placed by God in a submissive role.

Be a Good Student

Next is “learning quietly with all submissiveness.” Again, it does not mean speechlessness. It is a stillness or calm in one’s inner spirit. It is also elevating women from that day and allowing them to learn and gain knowledge. Simply stating, “be a good student.”

Authority Over Men?

Lastly, and the most difficult to grasp, is not allowing a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man. We have to weigh this with the gifts being given to all believers, that women will prophesy, and that in the past there were women judges over Israel. So, how do we understand what seems to be a contradictory teaching here in Timothy?

It seems that the word “authority” in 1 Timothy 2:12 is only used once in the Bible. It implies governing, dominating, or having mastery over. It seems to be more of an attitude, “I am domineering over.” It is usurping or taking authority away from a man. It is self-appointed and literally means to take up arms and act like an autocrat.  https://biblehub.com/greek/831.htm

In reality, even a man should not do this in the church. But if to consider what this is saying about women in the church, it simply means to be under another’s authority and not make yourself the head. It does not mean that you cannot use your gifts or serve the church.

Under Authority

One last thing to consider is perhaps there are general “rules,” but as with most, there are also exceptions. The general rule was that most Judges were men, but some women were called by God to fill that role. Typically, it is an elder, who is male, who teaches and preaches during the assembly of the ekklesia, but there are women who are called to teach and prophesy, as well as other men who are not elders.

Unfortunately, today’s worldview has made submission to be evil or a position of humiliation. In reality, submitting and placing oneself under authority is actually putting yourself in a position of security and care as you exercise your gifts. There is nothing wrong with placing yourself under a godly and self-sacrificing elder or husband.

I will give one example and then we will move on because this could be a whole series in itself. I use the example of me teaching or speaking under Anthony Buzzard at his church. Even though I am speaking or teaching, I am still under his authority. He has given me the opportunity to speak. At any time he could stop me and say not to teach such and such. I answer to him and he ultimately is responsible before God for what I say. Just because I am speaking does not mean that I am domineering over him or usurping his authority. At no time could I tell him what to say or not say, yet he could me.

Submission Starts at the Top

Unfortunately, most books, sermons, and teachings are focused on women and wives submitting. In all reality, it should start with the husband and Christian men if they truly are the head or specific leaders in the church. Leadership and a healthy, functioning body should start at the top and work their way down.

How can we make this happen? First of all, as I said, we must look to Christ’s example and see what he taught his disciples. After that, we need more teaching on, and exhortation to boys and men. The culture and worldview today have stripped them of their God-given strengths and roles. They must be encouraged in the church and family to step up and take responsibility. They should be in training to serve and spiritually protect at minimum, the women in their lives.

Mutual Submission, Serving Together

I acknowledge that over the years if it wasn’t for faithful women working and keeping the church alive, many would be long gone. I am not saying that the women need not work or serve in the church. Women must continue to use their God-given gifts and ministries for the benefit of the church, but men need to wake up, step up and use their gifts and ministries as well if we want to see a healthy church and one representing Christ and the Kingdom to this world. If men step up, this does not mean that we are asking women to step down. We are a team, and our team is weak when everyone is not playing their position, so to say, the positions that have been given to each one by the head of the church.

Christian Men, Stand Up & Get Moving

Men claiming to follow Christ, must stand up and start moving in order to actually follow Jesus. Christ is not standing still and if we are not moving, there is no way we can say that we are following him. Those who don’t move will be left behind and judged accordingly. Christian husbands and men in the church, Jesus will ask, “what have you done with what you have been given?”

In part seven we will continue some of these thoughts and dig a little deeper into the topic of church leadership.